Attempted Paradox
by MormonMaiden
Summary: A writer attempts the impossible. Set in Ba Sing Se.


-o-Lol, I can't believe I'm doing this….Oh, and Cathryn isn't my real name, just so y'alls know.-o-

Cathryn blinked quickly, not quite sure she should trust the images her eyes were sending her. Before her the ground moved and blurred, half the time a real, physical place, the other half the bright colors of the animated show she had been watching before the accident. She closed her eyes until she felt the world stop spinning. Her eyes opened to reveal a physical world, one whose parallels to the animated one she knew so well were disconcerting. Not to mention impossible.

After all, how could a freak accident with her television, a gameboy, and a spoonful of peanut butter really transport her to the world of the Avatar? And yet, here she was, staring at a busy market place located in one of the Earth Kingdom cities, which she identified by the trademark colors of green and gold. Her clothes had been changed, too, she realized, as she looked down in horror at the white and green Earth Kingdom dress she was now magically clad with. She spied an unoccupied bench on the side of the road and flopped into it unceremoniously, taking her head into her hands.

_How did this happen?_ She thought miserably. She considered herself a decent writer, or at least one who wasn't prone to making stupid mistakes as often as other fanfiction writers did. Her writing style was serious, character oriented, and (she hoped) at least somewhat plausible in the cannon universe. And yet still she was, right in the middle of a Mary Sue. With her knowledge of Avatar: The Last Airbender, she had the potential to seriously screw with the television show she had come to love so much. But with no clue how she had gotten here, she knew of no way to get out of it. Cathryn resignedly adjusted to the fact that perhaps the only way to end this was to follow the script and hope she didn't ruin things too badly. Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to remember the details of MS-bashing lists that she had read (and laughed at). In a Mary Sue universe, you were supposed to join up with the characters and…do something outrageous. Like make them fall in love or something. Though the idea wasn't so repulsive, (I mean, come on. Sokka. _Zuko!_) the fact that she would be messing with cannon characters and pairings bothered her. A lot.

Lost in her thoughts, she almost didn't realize when something hard and round tapped the side of her shoe. Cathryn leaned over to pick it up and an involuntary grin appeared on her face, evaporating much of the depressed mood that had descended as a result of her situation. The object's waxy green leaves indicated that one of her favorite minor characters was somewhere in the vicinity. Sure enough, as soon as she looked up there was a man scrabbling around on the dirt, trying to rescue as many of his cabbages as he could from the merciless feet of the crowd. Cathryn moved quickly to kneel beside him, helping him gather the spilt produce.

"Thanks," he gasped, flashing a quick smile. Cathryn's eyes swum as his image blurred between the real, human man before her and the animated one she was accustomed to seeing. She imagined it was the war between her need as a writer to see the characters as humans, and her desire as a rabid fangirl to recognize the characters. The writer won and she smiled back.

"I'm Kantu," he said, reaching a hand out to shake hers before turning back to the work of stacking the green orbs back in order on his cart. "Thanks for saving my cabbages."

"No problem," she answered, and then, because she could think of nothing else, "I'm Cathryn." Not wanting to stand there awkwardly, and unwilling to end the conversation so quickly, she started handing him the cabbages from the pile on the ground they had gathered. Again with the grateful smile, and then back to the cabbages.

"Cathryn, eh? You must be foreign. What nation are you from?"

"Northern Water Tribe," she lied quickly.

His face soured. "You're not a bender, are you?"

"No," she lied again. She wasn't sure yet. Mary Sues were often benders…right? It wasn't as if she had read a lot of them and knew exactly what she should be doing.

"Good. I've been having a lot of problems with benders, lately." A frown tugged at his mouth as he worked, intensely focusing on the cabbages as he ranted. "They just keep following me, everywhere I go! Especially that group that follows the Avatar around. The three of them, and that brother, always knocking over my cart…" He growled, and Cathryn tried to make the appropriate noises of empathy while trying to suppress her laughter. She hadn't expected Cabbage Man—Kantu—to be so…talkative. Her mind raced once she caught the implication of his earlier words.

"Are they here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm. "The Avatar's group, I mean. Were they the ones who made those cabbages spill all over?" A mental checklist started up in her head, even as she focused intently on his answer. _I need to find the Gaang. I need to discover what time period it is. I need to find out where I am..._

"No, actually." Kantu said, as if that surprised him, too. "It was actually a rude teenager this time. He was with his grandpa or uncle or something." Cathryn's back stiffened, and she stood abruptly.

"Well, I must be off now," she said in a falsly cheery voice, and in her feigned innocence, brushed the dirt off from the hem of her dress. (In the show, the Earth Kingdom women were never dirty, but now that she was here in "real life," Cathryn could see that when it came to white clothing, the 'clean' look had been a product of artistic editing.)

"Hey, if you're looking for the Avatar, you should just stay with me," he offered. "They're probably coming to Ba Sing Se anyway, and if you stick with me you're sure to run into them. Or at least have them run in to you." He grinned disarmingly, but Cathryn was already moving in the direction she assumed they had gone.

"Um…no thanks. Sorry!" she said, and then hurried away. No Mary Sues yet had paired themselves with the Cabbage Man, and she didn't want to be the one that spawned _that _crack-fic. (A/N: Or maybe she did…lol. I did this because MSs are supposed to have lots of interrupting author's notes. Sorry I interrupted your reading.)

So she would be meeting up with Zuko and Iroh...or "Mushi" and "Li" her if suspicions were correct. If they were all in Ba Sing Se, it had to be sometime around the "Secret of the Firenation" episodes. That meant Toph would be with the Gaang….Zuko would have his hair cut…

_Holy Toledo. _She thought, nearly stopping in her tracks as she hurried through the crowded marketplace. _Zuko. I'm going to see him...in all his hotness..._ She repressed a fangirl squeal. Back at home, she had never been swayed by the attractive boys in her classes, noting them, but never obsessing over them. She was they type of girl to keep crushes secret, so they never affected how she acted.

But this was Zuko. Prince of the Fire Nation. His Royal Hotness himself. Make that 'Hottt' with three t's. And his hair would be cut. And he would be in clothes that made him look like a Jedi.

She repressed another fangirl scream  
.

Cathryn forced herself to take a deep breath and slow her pace. She refused to be 'just another Mary Sue.' Unlike when writing, she didn't feel all-powerful. If someone were to attack her, she would not be able to pull some random ability (like swordfighting) out of thin air. As a writer, she controlled her characters with the click of the mouse or the stroke of the pen. In their universe, she was just as much subject to the whims of a devious author (A/N: Heh heh. Sorry. This is the last one) as any of the cannon characters, and if she did something wrong, she would have no power over anyone else to keep herself safe. As a Mary Sue, she would have to interact with them, but maybe, just maybe, she could pull it off and not become another crazy addition to the pit of Bad Avatar Fanfiction.

She passed a shop that contained mirrors and stopped to examine herself in it. Cathryn was still five feet tall, still had that long auburn hair pulled back into a lazy ponytail at the base of her neck. Her eyes still hazel. Her figure unchanged. She was attractive enough, she supposed, but no breathtaking beauty. She wouldn't be the type to snare a cannon character with one smoldering look. Cathryn nearly sighed in relief.

Her gaze was drawn to an animated figure in the mirror, sitting on the steps of the building directly behind her. His arms were folded over his chest, and he was looking moodily off into the distance. Cathryn's heart caught in her throat as the figure alternated between the cartoon character she knew and the young man she knew he could be. His body solidified into physical form, but the color of his trademark scar continued to fluctuate. Cathryn's eyes scoped out the scene in the mirror, still not trusting herself to turn around without a plan. He was every bit as hottt as she thought he'd be.

Zuko was alone, reclining on the steps of a doorway emblazoned with the lotus symbol. _A secret Pai Sho Lotus Society meeting_, she thought with a grin. That should give her enough time to do something completely uncalled for before Iroh got back and the duo moved on. In real life, Cathryn was no stranger to insane, attention-calling behavior, and as several ideas passed through her mind she found herself suppressing another grin. _So what if it won't make for good fanfiction_, she found herself thinking blasphemously. _It'll be fun._

Schooling her face into a mask of perfect indignance, Cathryn turned around with every intention of storming right up to him. She hadn't been expecting his full stare, full of unspoken and unanticipated emotions. Almost as soon as she returned his gaze, though, he turned away, a scowl etched into his face. _This complicated things_, she thought. _Why in the heck...?_

_Of course._ Cathryn shot another quick glance at the mirror behind her. At first glance, she could pass for a certain young Earth Kingdom healer that (she hoped, at least) Zuko could have conflicted feelings about meeting again. Eye contact had, of course dismissed that initial notion, but their similar appearance gave Cathryn one of her devious ideas, and she couldn't back down now. It would definitely qualify as outrageous, after all.

"Hey you!" she shouted, going back to her original 'storm up in an intimidating fashion' plan. A few faces in the crowd looked up curiously, but went back to their business when they realized she wasn't calling on _them_. Zuko looked up, incredulously pointing to himself.

"Yeah, you." She called again, and when she was close enough that it wouldn't draw _too_ many people's attention, she hissed, "_I know who you are._"

Cathryn allowed herself a lengthy moment to enjoy the look on Zuko's face. Shock, disbelief, horror...it took everything she had not to burst out laughing right then an there. As soon as his good eye narrowed into a suspicious slit she let the next part of her crazy plan slip into action.

"You're the guy who stole my cousin's emu-horse!" she growled, deliberately lacing her words with venom. Again, a beautiful look of shock and horror crossed his face, accented by the fact that she was seeing him as a real human versus his animated self. She decided to push it further. "Li, right? Don't even try to deny it, Li! What kind of jerk steals from the family that just provided food and shelter for him?"

Cathryn watched as Zuko processed this outburst, and was secretly delighted to see him drop his head in shame.

"A jerk who has a very many needs and very little time to explain them." She allowed a tense little smile to grace her lips. So Zuko wasn't as self-centered and prideful as some fanfiction depicted him as. He was mature enough to regret his actions back at the village. Cathryn allowed more silence to pass before speaking again, this time in a more gentle tone of voice, but still with the same sassy attitude as before.

"Just be glad Song understands that."

Zuko's head whipped up quickly, nearly throwing the straw hat off his heard, and this time Cathryn couldn't hide the amusement in her smirk. She sat herself down on the lowest stair, careful to give him his space.

"She's the type to forgive anyone, for anything. Don't go thinking that you're the exception. She wants to see you again." Amazing how quickly the lies came. Perhaps Song really did feel differently about Zuko than Cathryn suspected, but it was too far back to regret it now. After all, she _was _a Mary Sue.

Zuko took another moment to mull over the incredible things Cathryn had told him. She supposed, being the angsty character of the show, that the idea that someone out there besides his uncle (and mother, wherever she was) would care enough to see him again was revolutionary.

"Why?" he asked finally. Cathryn grinned again.

"Boy, have you seen yourself? You're very handsome when you're not pouting."

Zuko's shock and disbelief combined into the best expression she'd seen on him yet. Cathryn was still laughing when Iroh and his companions exited the building.

"Who is your new friend, Junior?" He asked, sharing in on the new girl's humor with a ready smile. It took less time for him to appear to her as a three dimensional person; a fact which pleased her immensely.

"I'm Cathryn," She replied cheerily, and nodded her head as a sign of respect, hoping that this was the socially appropriate thing to do. It seemed to be, for Iroh bowed back.

"She's related to Song. The healer." Zuko's voice was abrupt, undecipherable except for the content of his words.

The older man's eyes widened. "We owe your family a great debt."

"Nothing can be done for it now." Cathryn, said, soothingly. "They want their emu-horse back, eventually, of course. But don't feel obligated to return it right now. They understand that you have need of him." Cathryn hoped that her artistic liscense with Song's desires for the emu-horse weren't completely unfounded, and her regret at having tampered in their universe softened a bit. Hopefully something good would come out of this...especially since it was turning out to be some really good, devilish fun.

"Still, if there's anything that we can do for you..." Iroh offered. Cathryn almost wished she drank tea just for the experience of sharing some with the legendary Dragon of the West.

"Actually, I ought to be going now." She declined politely, rising from her sitting postion, still fighting the ironic smirk on her face again. "Thank you for the…interesting conversation."

"Hm…" Zuko responded, until Iroh kicked him. "Yes, it was…interesting."

Cathryn had only taken a few more steps before another devious idea struck her. Before she regretted it, she shouted out,

"One more thing, Li." He looked up at her expectantly. She could tell that his mind was still racing, but that he would listen to her. Iroh had looked over in her direction as well, intrigued by the last thing this mysterious stranger (A/N: who entered the Avatar world 'mysteriously…Sorry. Real last time) could have to say to his nephew.

"Next time you meet my cousin, use your _real _name."

-o-

It took Cathryn about an hour wandering through the Earth Kingdom capital to be sure she had evaded any attempts to follow her. The irrepressible smile on her face hadn't faded yet, and showed no sign of doing so soon. So what if she had just done something completely outrageous, and probably caused Zuko irreparable Out Of Character Damage. At least she had _tried_ not to. And she'd had a darn good time doing it. She spied the unoccupied bench she'd found near the beginning of her adventure and plopped down on it, exhausted but pleased, but still no closer to her eventual goal of going home again. A frown marred her features until another of her devious ideas stole into her mind.

_She _had no clue how to get back home.The whole process had been mystical…magical…spiritual. Who else was there to ask, but the Spirit Bridge himself? Cathryn sat back on the bench, grinning like the madwoman she was, and began her wait for the Avatar.

-o-

-O-Wow…it started off good and just died when I tried to get to an ending. Lol…I guess that means that I'll just have to update, right? JK. I might if I get inspiration, but for now, I'll be content that I am a nonconformist Mary Sue. I have to admit, I love the Cabbage Man part. And I really do have a passing resemblance to Song, so that's what brought up that particular sequence. Whatev. If you found any of it humorous, please review! If you didn't, then I'm amazed that you suffered through all the way through it. Review and tell me how you did it. Yup. Thank for suffering through it! Have nice lives!-o-


End file.
